If I Say It, It Must Be True

If I Say It, It Must Be True
By Mark Brickman

We live in a world that was once unknown to us. It started about eight years ago when George W. Bush told us that he would be a compassionate conservative and would add some Democrats to his administration. He said it, so history shows that he was telling the truth. Once he became president, he sponsored the blue skies legislation to clamp down on polluting corporations, the healthy forest initiative to protect our open spaces and precious old growth trees and put forth faith-based initiatives that provided much needed education to the youth of our country and young people overseas. It is fabulous that he labeled his agenda so transparently so that we know what good he’s doing for our great land.

Now we have a new generation of politicians, ones that make pronouncements and statements designed to alert us to their amazing accomplishments. For example, I am so happy that my miscomprehension and lack of thorough digestion of the news is clarified on a daily basis. I had no idea that states that hold caucuses are not representative of true democracy. I didn’t realize that some polls just don’t hold water while others are sacrosanct, and I am gratified to learn that votes that our nasty media seems to suppress are being tallied by people who know how this primary process really works.

In the spirit of complete immodesty and frankly making certain that I toot my own horn, I wanted to make sure that I disclosed a couple of things about myself recently. I have been on a diet and daily bike riding regimen and in the last three weeks have lost over 40 pounds or thereabouts. I haven’t been on a scale, but I feel strongly that that’s what it would show. As a matter of fact, I am capable of easily riding upwards of fifty miles at a time. As far as my job, I am considered the top producer, and feel certain that the owner looks to me for my incredible leadership qualities. I am sure that I’ll be soon snapped up by a Fortune 500 company and given a huge promotion.

Although I work full-time, I also spend about forty hours a week working in my local Obama office. I also donate my time at a soup kitchen for the poor, putting in about thirty hours there. In my spare time, I mentor about ten students who plan to work in my field, and that leaves barely enough time for me to tutor six high school students in the afternoons. I love to drive my sports cars through the neighborhood, and sometimes take them on cross-country trips and disappear for days on end. I also find time to put in some volunteer time at an old-age home, where I cook dinner for about 200 people every night.

You see? If I say it, it must be true. On the other hand, when something just doesn’t seem possible or even plausible, maybe we should all learn to question what we hear. It is part of our democracy to question anything and everything, and that is not rude or insensitive; that is our right. When we hear anyone, our representative or potential leaders representing things that just sound too good to be true, maybe they’re just that. Had we and the media looked more critically at what George W. Bush said leading up to his first appointment as president and once he assumed the presidency, maybe we’d have a different country today.

Let’s not make the same mistake again and again. I don’t take anything I hear for granted. If I wonder whether something is accurate or factual or is a complete fabrication, it is my responsibility as an American to find out what’s what. It’s time for us to wake up and not simply accept everything that we’re told, particularly when it’s labeled or wrapped in a nice little package.