Let's Glimpse Upcoming Clinton Strategy

Whether you like it or not, and whether it has any merit or not, the Clinton/McCain gas tax holiday proposal has worked very successfully in working class neighborhoods and regions across Indiana, and I have taken the liberty of peeking into the Clinton schedule for the next few weeks to see what we all have in store. I am doing this to warn the Obama campaign to be prepared for the next barrage of attacks.

Beginning Monday morning, Hillary Clinton will stand on the front steps of the United Mine Association in Charleston, West Virginia and announce that she is calling for a winter tax holiday on all coal products. She will additionally call for an immediate inspection of all coal mines and will pay for it with a windfall profits tax on national oil companies. She is planning on hammering Obama on being against coal miner safety and having a complete lack of knowledge of the coal industry.

In Kentucky, the Clintons will crisscross the state proclaiming that Hillary’s grandfather was in one of the very first bluegrass bands. They will emphasize that Hillary, as a young girl, remembers sitting around the family cabin on Cave Run Lake where she sat for hours mesmerized by Grandpa Louie as he instilled in her patriotism and American values. She also plans a photo op at Churchill Downs where she’ll pet a horse and announce that only elite people like Barack Obama could possibly own a racehorse, but that she admires the spirit and tenacity of the horses that race in Kentucky and, for that matter, all Kentucky thoroughbreds and will compare herself to the great racehorses of years past.

When she gets to Oregon in a couple of weeks, unless things change dramatically on the ground, Hillary Clinton plans to announce a moratorium on all pine tree cutting for the foreseeable future. The expectation is that Obama will seize on the opportunity to point out that this action will cripple the logging industry and will immediately have an impact on construction and building, and the Clintons, who plan a huge blitz in Eugene, will drive home the point that Obama just doesn’t love nature and wishes to cut down every tree in the northwest. She is prepared to announce that synthetic wheat growers in the eastern sections of Oregon will fill the void.

If it gets that far, the Clintons plan to head down to Puerto Rico with straw hats and sandals to announce that rum is not just the nectar of the gods, but that rum workers in Puerto Rico should get a doubling in their pay and benefits. This would, of course, be paid for by invoking a windfall profits tax on the oil companies. When and if Obama calls the arbitrary wage hike unwise or pandering, Hillary Clinton will point out that poor Barack, being a chardonnay drinker, would never comprehend the plight of poor rum workers in the Caribbean.

If you haven’t caught on yet, this is meant to be totally tongue in cheek. I don’t know what the Clintons have in store for Obama in the coming weeks, but this is written in reaction to my observations in the past two months that the Clintons have taken stands and have immediately pointed out that Barack is against it, whether he’s against it or not, or conversely, that he’s in favor of something when the Clintons are suddenly against it.